The Icebreaker Dilemma

It’s the start of a new year, and that usually means lots of planning activities with offsite planning being just a drop in the bucket. A classic offsite challenge? Deciding whether to include an icebreaker or just hope everyone magically bonds over coffee breaks. Icebreakers can set the tone for the whole event, but let’s be honest – most engineers aren’t exactly lining up to play "Two Truths and a Lie" (which, by the way, is exactly what we did at our first Flux offsite because I couldn’t think of a better option…). 

For many business teams, icebreakers are a given. But for engineering teams, it’s different. Engineers are notorious for hating icebreakers, and for good reason. The wrong one can feel cringey, forced, or like a total waste of time. For some, it’s the worst part of the offsite. But icebreakers also have their merits. When thoughtfully designed, they can help set a positive tone for the offsite, foster connections, and create a sense of psychological safety. The key is finding one that resonates with the team, respects personal boundaries, and actually gets people engaged.

At Flux, we wanted an icebreaker that did all of this—and I think we found it. Our icebreaker turned out to be a hit. It’s flexible, scalable, and balances purpose with fun. Inspired by Dungeons and Dragons (DnD) it’s designed to discover new dynamics without any dice rolls or character sheets. I want to share how this icebreaker worked for us, and how you can adapt it to fit your team—whether you’re a small group or a large, remote organization.

Introducing the Discover New Dynamics (DnD) Icebreaker 

This exercise lets people craft a fun, lightweight persona of their work identity. It’s a playful, safe way to explore what makes each person tick—and how we work as a crew.

The setup is simple. Each person answers four questions to build their persona:

• Ancestry: Who are you descended from? (E.g., Human, Dwarf, Unicorn)
• Class: What do you do best? (E.g., Bard, Wizard, Fighter)
• Skill: What are you naturally great at? (E.g., Magic, History, Deception)
• Alignment: How do you interact with the world? (E.g., Neutral, Chaotic, Lawful)

The format is highly adaptable. We used a Google Form/Survey to collect everyone’s responses in real time. For larger teams, this format enables everyone to participate without taking up a lot of time. Leaders can share the anonymized results live, displaying charts to spark conversations about the group’s strengths, diversity, and unique dynamics. But since we’re a smaller team, we made it more personal and went full round-robin. Each person shared their persona and (if they wanted) explained what resonated most about their choices. 

It was awesome. The conversations that came out of it were thoughtful, funny, and energizing. Even people who’ve worked together for years learned something new about their colleagues. Plus, the personas became a running joke throughout the offsite – in the best way possible. Months later, we’re still referencing them!

This approach avoided the pitfalls of traditional icebreakers. It didn’t ask for personal information or force vulnerability. Instead, it kept things relevant to the workplace while simultaneously being fun, creative, and a great way to learn more about one another.

What We Learned About Flux

The results were both insightful and entertaining. Here’s what we discovered:

1. Bard Domination: Nearly half our team identified as Bards! Bards are support and utility players—versatile, adaptable, and great at boosting the team. This perfectly reflects the startup mentality at Flux, where everyone wears multiple hats and steps in wherever they’re needed to achieve shared goals.

2. Magic Galore: "Magic" was the most commonly chosen skill. This aligns with our team’s focus on creativity and innovative problem-solving—qualities that define our approach to empowering engineering leaders and their teams.

3. Rich Diversity: From Humans (ambitious and adaptable) to Unicorns (magical and healing) to Dwarves (resilient and crafty), our team’s diversity mirrors the complementary strengths and perspectives we each bring to the table as we work as a team.

4. Neutral… But Not Too Neutral. Most folks chose "Neutral" alignment, signaling a balanced and pragmatic approach. But the strong Chaotic streak running through our team? That’s where the fun, creativity, and individuality shine. Could we be any more stereotypically ‘startup’??

Hearing each person explain their choices sparked meaningful conversations. For example, one of our most collaborative team members identified as a "Fighter"! Huh? Well, they see themselves as a "tank" for product delivery, absorbing outside pressure so the team can shine ❤️. Another described themselves as a "Ranger," emphasizing their love of exploration and ranged support, perfectly capturing their personality and role. Even those who’ve worked together for years learned something new about their colleagues.

But wait, does it have to be DnD?

Okay, let me back up. Why DnD? When we designed this icebreaker, it wasn’t random. As one of the co-founders, I have the privilege during the interviewing process of speaking with every candidate about what makes Flux special. I like to share how our small but mighty startup team is akin to a DnD adventuring party. Every member is exceptional and brings something unique to the table: complementary strengths, perspectives, and skills. Like a DnD party that relies on diverse talents to tackle big challenges and stay alive, team Flux works together to achieve greatness and we always have each other’s backs.

As a game built around storytelling, collaboration, and unique roles, DnD’s framework is easily adaptable to the workplace. However, those folks who haven’t played the game might think DnD automatically means high fantasy (Forgotten Realms), but the truth is that there are many worlds an adventuring party can explore, ranging from Gothic Horror (Ravenloft) to Post-Apocalyptic Fantasy (Dark Sun) to even contemporary urban modern settings. Elves, orcs, and magic aren’t the point of DnD. It’s about collaborative exploration, creative problem-solving, and immersive storytelling. Sound familiar? Isn’t that what every innovative software development team is doing?

Not into DnD? No problem – swap it out for Marvel’s Avengers and call it the Discover New Dynamics icebreaker. Same concept, same fun!

Lessons for Engineering Leaders

So, what can engineering leaders take away from all this?

1. Icebreakers don’t have to be awkward or invasive. With a little creativity, they can be fun, inclusive, and even insightful. By tailoring an exercise to your team’s culture, you can foster meaningful connection without forcing vulnerability.
2. Know your team. Engineers might not love traditional icebreakers, but they do appreciate activities that respect their individuality and creativity. Designing something thoughtful and relevant can make all the difference. 
3. Keep it scalable. Small team? Make it engaging. Large team? Keep it inclusive but efficient. And whether your team is remote, hybrid, or in-person, choose a format that’s easy to set up and adapt.

The best icebreakers don’t just break the ice – they set the tone for the entire offsite. They help people connect, collaborate, and feel valued. At Flux, our DnD-inspired icebreaker did exactly that – and I hope it inspires you to rethink what’s possible for your next offsite.

Your Turn

Give it a try! I’m happy to share this Google Form template to help you get started - just make a copy, customize to your unique team, and start adventuring! Here’s to making 2025 the year of deeper connections, seamless collaboration, and unforgettable offsites!